You are my life; without You I know not how to live.
You are my eyes; without You I have no sight.
As time passed and weeks ended, the love of my Beloved, my exalted Master, became more apparent and the fire became hotter and more burning. It finally reached such an extent that even while doing normal things, such as eating and bathing, I would be drowned in thoughts of Baba, and there was not a moment that I could forget him. Weeks passed, while I was being consumed in the intoxication of his love. Then by December 1927, desire for food eventually left me, and I had abandoned the care of my body and clothes, having become totally oblivious of my surroundings. I was lost in meditation and in the longing to behold the beauty of my Baba. His name was my meditation and the thought of him my remembrance of God.
One night, as was usual, the children and mandali had gathered around Baba listening to him dictate a discourse, I found myself changed and began to see all around a radiant glow which betrayed the effulgence of the sun, quivering and flowing. I called out the Beloved's name and instantly lost consciousness. I was unconscious for five hours, and when I regained consciousness, I was taken to Baba who consoled me and asked me to sleep.
After that experience, whenever I was in Baba's presence I would first kiss his feet, but no matter how much I would kiss and press my head on his feet, it would not soothe my burning heart; neither would it help the turmoil which had overtaken my heart. I was immersed in one thought — the thought of the Beloved. Without meditating or contemplating, my soul was enjoying peace and bliss, and my eyes were fixed on his pure and noble face.
A short while following this experience, the focus of my concentration was fully established and I was in constant remembrance. I was so immersed in this natural meditation that during this period, I did not care about food and did not care whether I sat in the sun or rain. Many of my days were spent constantly weeping.
It was in January 1928, when my inner state changed drastically. Sitting close to my Beloved Master, watching the sunset, I suddenly began to wail and scream and cry.