At lunch, after taking a few morsels, I suddenly felt a change overtaking me. I began to feel extraordinary heat and everything began to get dark around me — things actually began to vanish. Suddenly, beyond my own volition, a weeping welled up from the depth of my being and I began to wail. Within moments, I lost all consciousness of the people surrounding me and became insensible. After a short while, I found myself conscious again, repeating, "I am far. I am far. Where is He? And where am I?"
Buasaheb tried to comfort me by reminding me of what Baba had promised to do for me. But the spontaneous weeping became louder and louder as my muscles were shivering, making my breathing deep and fast. I would quiet down for a while, only to start crying again.
After about an hour, I began to calm down. I felt I was in a state of limbo between sleep and wakefulness; a feeling of bliss overtook me. I raised my head and found my beloved Baba sitting in front of me. His presence and the sight of his pure face once again moved me to tears, and unthinkingly I fell at his holy feet. (This time I was crying because I had disturbed him with my crying.) He was concerned as he gazed at me. I was dazed — lost in a sea of oblivion.
After five minutes or so I became half aware, and took a glass of milk from the Beloved's hand and drank it per his wish. I sat in front of Baba, motionless as a statue, gazing with bewilderment at his unrivaled beauty. My eyes were wet with tears and my heart was burning in flames. In my heart I was singing these lines about true love for God:
O Beloved, I have lost myself,
Yet I desire to lose
myself even more.
I speak to your eyes, telling them,
"I want to be as drunk as you are."
I don't want a crown; I don't seek a throne;
I only want to be thrown as dust in Your service.
Who has ever had such a lovely idol as I have?
Who has ever had a moon sweet as honey?
The sight of Your countenance makes the earth shake
As it will at the day of judgment.
Yet in the paradise of Your beauty,
Who would ever fear the fire of hell?
My heart then pleaded to Baba as God:
O life of my soul, without You
Neither does joy make me happy
Nor does rapture intoxicate me.