He soon left home again, well aware that his mother and other relatives would force a third marriage upon him. Kashinath wandered for some time before returning to Satana. He had regained his normal weight and strength, but his eyes showed the same uneasiness and distress.
The Singer was now singing more clearly than ever in his heart — but still unseen. Kashinath cried out: "O Singer, what is your game? If you wish to remain hidden, why do you sing? Your song is driving me mad!"
There was still a family link left for Kashinath to break, however. Without this karmic snapping, how could the Singer reveal the splendor of his face? Despite his return to Satana after the end of the traditional marriage season, Kashinath's relatives arranged a third marriage for him. But Kashinath's new entanglement in worldly life did not interfere with his search for the Singer. The unseen voice would not allow him to rest; the Song was constantly heard and its music was breaking Kashinath's heart.
In order to earn a livelihood and provide for his wife, in 1892 Kashinath and his bride moved to Sangli, where he studied ayurvedic medicine for three years. In 1895, he became a vaidh (physician) and returned to Satana to practice medicine. But he was aflame with the Song, and he and his wife left Satana in 1896 for Amraoti, where he started a dispensary. He also began writing in a monthly Marathi ayurvedic journal, Besaj Ratnamala, which he edited for three years. Professionally, Kashinath appeared quite successful, a well-known physician in ayurvedic circles, well settled in both his career and his marriage. When he was 29, a son was born to him, but within a few months the baby died.1
For years Kashinath's spiritual suffering was secret. His restless and painful inner state was unknown to others. The Singer would not leave him alone; the Song would not stop! Sometimes he would behave in a seemingly bizarre manner, and when he was in this disturbed condition, his wife would patiently bear with him and try to ease his distress.
It is the way of the world that as one gains success, one often thinks of acquiring property, and Kashinath was no exception. At Gwalior there was an opportunity for acquiring uncultivated land if one agreed to farm it. During 1906, Kashinath invested thousands of rupees and acquired hundreds of acres, spending much time there.
Footnotes
- 1.It is rare that a Perfect Master has any progeny. Tukaram and the Qutub Mu'inuddin Chishti are known to have had children, as did Kabir, who had a son, Kamal, who was very devout.