I am the miserable Kalyan," he replied. Janak then sent him away for twelve more months.
During this time, Kalyan started pondering: "What is this? When I first went to Janak, I had nothing but I wanted to see God. Then I was thrown into prison. Then I was placed on the throne. Then I became rich. Then I became poor. What does all this mean?"
When he returned to Janak's palace after twelve months, one of the guards took pity on him and said, "You fool, this time when Janak asks who you are, say 'I do not know!' " Kalyan followed this advice. Janak then turned his gaze upon him and he lost consciousness of all bodies, of the whole world, and became conscious of his own Self as the Infinite God!
The meaning of this tale is unless you lose the I, you cannot see and become God, because where you are, God is not!
Now about myself. When I was a boy I did not know anything. I had nothing to do with spirituality. My father, who was a dervish, had roamed throughout Persia and India, begging and contemplating God. He taught me some verses from Hafiz and other poets, but I had no interest in these. I preferred playing games — marbles, kites, cricket — and found myself the leader of others.
Yet one day, when a friend gave me a small booklet on the Buddha, I opened the book to the place that told about the second coming of the Buddha as Maitreya, the Lord of Mercy, and I realized all of a sudden, 'I am that, actually' and I felt it deep within me. Then I forgot about it and years passed by.
Babajan called me one day as I was cycling past her tree and kissed me on the forehead. And for nine months, God knows, I was in that state to which very, very few go. I had no consciousness of my body, or of anything else. I roamed about taking no food. My mother thought I was mad, and called the doctor. My father understood, but said nothing. The doctors could not do anything. I did not sleep; and then what happened is very rare. It is only for the Avatars who take on themselves the suffering of the world. I took no food but tea which my elder brother Jamshed, who loved me very much, gave me.