And it was true. What was there to give? He made me know my Real State. But he played his dual role with the Perfection of which he was the personification.
When I was in Meherabad, Raghunath, Durgabai's son, came to me and said, "Baba, you must save Maharaj."
I said, "Why?"
He replied, "Maharaj called me and Durgabai and said, 'See, I am now overpowered with lust, and so I must take this step ...' "1
I told him, "Raghunath, you don't know Maharaj. Tell Durgabai not to lose her head. Even Durgabai, who has served him 100 percent, does not know him. Tell Durgabai not to lose her trust in him, even if he does anything that seems devilish!" In short, I heard much over this point from others, but it was because the ways of the Masters are unfathomable.2
Then, after some time, when Maharaj said [other] things against me, I sent Gulmai to him, and he once told Gulmai, "Tell Merwan, my days are near. Come and take charge of Sakori." He knew that I would not go there, and he had to establish what he had done now. He was so Perfect that he said things as if he did not know.
Now I want to tell you that I know everything about Maharaj's external life until he left his body. I know in detail because I was in him, and he was in me. What I had to do with women, Maharaj did for me; and what he had to do with the West, I did for him. Then, when I saw that he was near to dropping his body, I arranged the meeting [at Dahigaon]. Now, listen very carefully, because this is very important for you all. When I first saw him as he entered the hut at Dahigaon, on the doorstep, I touched his feet with my forehead. He lifted me up, embraced me and wept for fifteen minutes like a child. Then we both sat in that hut. Maharaj said to me, "Break your silence!"
I, with signs, said, "The time has not come." In all, three times he pressed me to break my silence, although he knew that I would not break it. Then he made me promise one thing, about his dear, beloved Godavri. And I promised, and so today I am here and will fulfill my promise.
Footnotes
- 1.This "step" refers to Maharaj's work of marrying the kanyas, who were referred to as his "spiritual wives." Upasni Maharaj was beyond sex; his marriage to these close women disciples was absolutely pure.
- 2.After this incident, as events unfolded, Durgabai and her son were forced to leave Sakori. But this was a ruse and part of Maharaj's work with Durgabai and Godavri Mai. From an external view, it appeared Durgabai ended up destitute, living in a home for women in Sholapur. Near her death, Maharaj, dressed in disguise as a woman, went to her and explained that her becoming an "outcast" and her mental and physical suffering were necessary for her ultimate liberation (which Maharaj indicated Durgabai received upon her death).