I feel deeply that by the end of December something very serious to my body will happen. I also know and feel 100 percent, rather 200 percent, that three things will happen — namely, humiliation, apparent defeat and manifestation. I also feel that these three things will not happen in 1953. Now, how can the following three feelings be reconciled?
a) By December end a very serious thing will happen to my body;
b) I also feel that the three things mentioned in Life Circular Number 9 will not happen in 1953;
c) But it must happen!
There is another deep-down honest feeling that from November things for me and for those who are with, or for me, will be absolutely changed. Now, this amounts to four feelings. I tell you and, God knows, I mean every word I say. But how to reconcile them? Even I can't understand it.
These four feelings I know and understand; but how to reconcile them for the ordinary intellect to comprehend? At times, you yourselves understand things which you can't explain to others. I know these four feelings 100 percent deep down. I know they are conflicting and I understand that; but how to explain it? I can't explain them! On the basis of these four feelings, I have decided certain things and certain other things which I will discuss and then decide:
First: From August 1 to the end of November, I should have no headaches. I want to feel as if I am enjoying a good cricket match. So, from August 1 to the end of November, no one should tell me, 'Baba, I have heard this or that,' or that certain persons want to see me, or that someone wants to bring his financial difficulties to my attention, and so forth. I tell you, this is most important. I do not want to be disturbed in any way.
Second: From August to November, there should be absolutely no correspondence with me. If there is anything serious, such as a death, illness, et cetera, a telegram should be sent.
Third: From August to November, no one should talk about money matters with me. That is the reason why I have settled all accounts until December.
Fourth: I intend staying at Dehra Dun until the end of September.