Why? I will tell you:
No one is to blame. All the while, I had been stressing that my plan was for a fortnight. We were all to be together, to eat and drink together, but not to sleep at all. The result of the work would have manifested in Kashmir, and many things were to have happened. Yet I felt simultaneously, all the time, that the plan would not work out, and that was why I kept warning Elcha. Otherwise, why would I have warned him repeatedly, since he was so 100 percent sure of obtaining a station wagon? Occasionally, I would also threaten him that if he failed to procure it, he should be ready to bear the consequences!
So this will give you a clue that, in fact, no one was at fault, and the setback happened. The plan was there and I wanted it to fructify, but at the same time, I also felt that it would not, and because of that I was repeating the matter over and over again. On the last day [June 4], Elcha expressed his inability to procure the vehicle. The one he had procured broke down. As a last resort, we even went to the extent of buying a station wagon, for which I sanctioned the amount.
God knows how serious I was in seeing the plan materialize, and at the same time felt it never would. You cannot understand this.
Just as Christ said: "Father, even You have forsaken me!" Now, he was the Father and the Son. He knew he would be crucified, and still he said, "Father, why hast Thou forsaken me!" Only Christ could understand this.
What I mean is that when I plan a thing and setbacks occur, they are not setbacks — but I call them setbacks.
If you look carefully, you will see the setbacks. I have marked a few only from today. Elcha was to accompany me on the 21st, but now he cannot. Last time, also, we were to start on June 5, but he was occupied, so it was postponed to the 6th. Now our trip on the 21st is also postponed until the 22nd.
What I wanted to tell you was that the result of my work would have manifested in Kashmir. That is what I felt, and felt 100 percent. I sent Krishnaji to Kashmir to spread my message of love there.