Chapter 36: Interested In Remaining Disinterested
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On the spiritual path, in the subtle world at different stages, the aspirant gets unusual and splendid experiences of sweet music, perfumes and the sights of lovely lights. In the mental world, the seeing of God has its beginning and culmination. A rare one, who with enough patience keeps his heart open, sees me as I should be seen; but even this "seeing" is not the goal. You have to become me.
Time steeped in infinite eagerness and patience rolls on and, at the opportune moment, the aspirant begins to lose the awareness of himself as being a separate "self." Although awake, he becomes literally blank to all that can be seen in the six planes of consciousness and thus experiences infinite vacuum, or the complete "blackout" of the Nothing. Then, in an instant, he becomes fully conscious of God as Everything.
Consciousness of the Nothing is the Vacuum State.1 Consciousness of Everything is the God State. But this needs my grace.
One of the devotees interrupted, pleading, "So, Baba, we seek your grace."
In response, Baba replied:
No one gets it from his seeking or asking. You may be ready even to give up your very life for it, but with all this you cannot claim grace. How can you demand grace? The very desire to possess grace is a barrier in receiving it. It is an act of unbounded spontaneity.
However, in a sense you cannot love me without my grace, and as such all of the "experiences" you have are nothing but a game of my grace.
But grace as grace is quite different. It is not received in parts. It is infinitely indivisible and so indescribable. It is the whim of the fully conscious Infinite to make the apparently finite realize its Infinity. On the part of the finite it can be likened to a drop gulping the Ocean!
Baba then gestured, "Enough of this subject now. Only love counts. Is it not mentioned in the circular that you are not to expect any discourse from me? So let us have some songs now."
A program of music began.
The next day as the devotees took their seats in the hall, Baba asked them, "What program do you have planned?"
Someone replied on behalf of the newly arrived group, "As you wish, Baba."
Baba replied, "It is not the question of my wish. I am asking you about your wish."
Footnotes
- 1.Baba was referring to the divine states of nirvan-nirvikalp.