When I was in college, I met Babajan. I was going to college on my cycle, and Babajan was sitting there under a tree. Around her, she had a group of some Pathans. They are a very stalwart people, very fierce-looking. And Babajan, the old lady, just called me, beckoned me, and I got down from the cycle. Then she kissed me on the forehead — and I knew, [I had] that Experience . At that very moment, everything disappeared, vanished completely. Why? Because I found myself INFINITE. There was no room for anything else besides me. That kiss made me Infinite, so that there was no room for anything else. Everything vanished but me! How can I explain that Experience to you? But when you get that Experience, you come to know .
When I experienced that bliss, that infinite bliss which had no break, it was continual — it is continuing even now. Of course, it is eternal, it has no break. Then I went to Upasni Maharaj — I was drawn there, I do not know how. He brought me back to normal consciousness.
You have no idea what that means — to come down to normal consciousness! Every little thing, every moment, was a crucifixion for me. To come down from that infinite bliss to normal consciousness of this material, illusory world is crucifixion.
Even now, it is the same. You all find me cheerful, happy, but inwardly, within, I am in infinite agony. Why? Because I experience through all of you your own bondage.
If you can love me, love God, your love will make you know me. If you can make others happy through your love, without seeking your own happiness, you can free yourself from this bondage. You can then find me as I really am. No sooner do you get the Experience, than you feel liberated and experience infinite bliss.
Baba then walked briskly back to the main part of the Center. The children were all in the boathouse, waiting to go out on the lake in the black Venetian gondola. Baba entered the boathouse and caressed each child lovingly. Baba stood on the grass with everyone, watching as the gondolier, one of the Black handymen at the Center, took the children in groups for a ride.