A second point is most important. Do not pose. For example, when you return, and someone asks you about Baba, if you think I am the Avatar, say it; if you don't, say so. And if you vary — thinking perhaps he could be but I'm not sure, one day I think so, one day I don't — then say that. It is no better to think one thing than another. The importance lies in knowing and expressing exactly what you yourself think. And apply this principle to everything. Just don't pose.
On the way to India, Clarice had been pondering the inevitable question Baba asked his lovers, "Will you obey me?" She thought: "Would I jump out of the plane window if Baba told me? Would I run around naked?" She was carrying a book of Hafiz's couplets and opened the book to this quotation:
Knowing Love's Ocean is a shoreless sea,
what help is there?
Abandon life and founder!
Then she read another couplet of Hafiz:
When you give your heart to Love, you make the moment lucky.
No need of auguries to perform good deeds.
She thought: "Yes, I will obey Baba."
Now, at Ashiana, came the question: "Will you obey me?" Baba asked.
"Yes," said Clarice.
"Will you go back to Melbourne and kill your three children?"
Clarice began weeping. She didn't have a handkerchief, so she began wiping her eyes on her sleeve. After a moment, she felt "a lovely, comforting warmth from Baba, as if I was being rocked like a baby."
Baba said, "I wouldn't ask you to do that. I had to show you that you can't obey me."
Baba then said, "There is no value in trying to follow Baba unless it is what you want to do, and are willing to obey him. It does not matter at all if you do not want to — far better to live an ordinary life, forget about following Baba, and see God in others and in everyday life. But if it is your real desire to love Baba and serve him, how would you do it? It is very difficult to do, and difficult to explain. I cannot ask, how will I love my wife? I do or I do not. Can you hear that noise [a loud banging outside]?"
They said yes.
"Well, if you loved me, you would not hear it while you are with me!" Baba concluded.