"Yes, Baba." Krishnaji replied.
"Did you bow down and touch the feet of saints and sadhus?"
"Not to all, but to some."
"Did anyone touch your feet?"
"When I was touching the feet of Vishnu Datt Digambar, he too bowed to me."
I feel very very happy because you are so honest. All you said now, I know, and it was for this you were sent there [to Uttar Kashi]. Now listen, dear child, as I have been saying nowadays repeatedly: Only honesty counts. What you went through mentally you told me honestly. But, dear child, this is what is called the dark spiritual night. It is that state where the seeker's ardor cools down completely and he is fed up with the Path and falls prey to dejection, uninterest and failure.
What happens is that when we are really guided toward Self-Realization by the Master, all the hidden impressions of the past lying dormant in the subconscious mind come forth. They want to be spent, but that is the moment of spiritual crisis. No amount of jap, tap, meditation or religious practices you do will enable you to cross the "bridge ." Only the help of the Master and your own honesty will make you succeed. There are many who in your place would not feel so frustrated, dejected or care for me, my name or your aim, but would go on posing as spiritual men. That is a fall. When this consciousness comes, one must go one way or the other, absolutely, or be a complete fraud.
Three ways are open for you: One is to get merged in maya, surrender to its frailties — marry, have offspring, do as you like. Another is absolute mental annihilation. The third is of hypocrisy and pretense — be a fraud, posing as [being] spiritual yet indulging in maya!
"I prefer the second way," Krishnaji said.
I am glad to hear it, but you should not succumb to temptations. I do not mean you could escape them, but you should avoid them. Not to run away from them means you should not fear them, feel nervous about them, be overcome by them.
Again, this means that there is no need to stop thoughts from coming. This is a very important thing. In no book is it mentioned. It is only for my lovers that I am pointing out today the secret of this spiritual darkness. Lusty, good or bad thoughts should not be checked. Let them come, rather encourage them to come! Do not feel nervous or get despondent, but never allow them to express themselves in actions.