During her visit, Jean felt that her attitude toward Baba had changed, and she now felt "inwardly free and detached, with no emotional tentacles pulling at her heart strings." She told Baba that she did not fit any longer into his group, but Baba vigorously denied this and said that she was a "perfect fit." Jean shook her head and said, "I do not belong here."
On the boat back to the West, Jean reviewed her life and concluded that her most profound inner experiences had all come prior to her contact with Baba. It was to sustain this higher level of consciousness that she had looked to him for aid, she told herself.
When she shared her feelings with Delia, stating, "This chapter [in my life] is finished," Delia asked her, "But what are you going to do now?"
Jean foolishly replied, "I don't know, except that I shall no longer look to any human being, regardless of his apparent spiritual stature, for that which I can find only within my own heart and soul. I've already wasted too many years seeking it outside."1
On 14 October, a deed of partnership between 20 of the mandali was executed for Meher Publications , for the purpose of publishing Baba's books. In attendance at Meherazad were Adi Sr., Dhake, Pendu, Padri, Baidul, Jal Rusi, Sarosh, Jalbhai, Meherjee, Nariman and Kaikobad's son Ratan, who showed up unannounced. Baba also met Rustom Dinyar of Deolali that day.
On one occasion Baba visited Akbar Press in Ahmednagar with Eruch, who had been in Poona for a few weeks. There he saw Shirin Damania, who was bedridden with arthritis. Baba asked her what she wanted. Eruch urged his aunt, "Tell Baba to make your body all right so you can move about as before."
Baba assured her, "There is only one remedy for that — you will be all right if I am bedridden with stiff legs."
Concerned, Shirin blurted out, "Baba, do not do that! I will lie here as I am until my last breath, but you should stay well."
Baba was deeply pleased with her spontaneous expression of heartfelt love and reassured her, "Carry on as you are in this birth. After this life, you will be free from the rounds of birth and death."
Baba met everyone at Akbar Press, including his three "darlings" — Homi Mama Satha's children Alu, Dhun and Naval.
Footnotes
- 1.Based on Jean Adriel's fictionalized account of her life, Soaring Sunward (Pageant Press, New York), pp. 103–107.