But the fact is, when one suffers it is one's own fault. Mansari became excited, she was angry and suffered, and she laid it all on Elizabeth, Norina and Lucky. But if she had gone beyond the lower self, she would have taken it calmly, swallowed it and remained unaffected. If you are firm, nothing will upset you. If you try, you will surely have it.
I don't want any repression, but I do want transformation. I never for one moment say that you must not get angry. Don't be confused. You must get angry when the occasion arises. But, at once, you must get it out of your head. If you are not hungry, to fast has no meaning.
I have told you this story before. Prophet Muhammad once told his chief apostle, Ali, "If you want to know me, try your utmost to control your anger and transform it into love."
The very next day, someone challenged Ali to a fight. Ali fought him and won. He brought the man down and sat on his chest.
The man spat right in Ali's face [the worst insult to a Muslim] and Ali got so angry, he raised his dagger to kill him. But then Ali remembered what Muhammad had said and so instead, he kissed him and let him go. Now if he had not gotten angry, he would not have had the opportunity to control himself.
That does not mean that you should go on kissing each other when you are angry!
Norina said something in her defense and Baba replied, "Italians can't control their temper." Baba then touched on characteristics of other nationalities and groups and observed:
Like the Italians, the Bengalis also cannot control their anger. They are the curse of India. All are anarchists. The Germans are cruel and barbarians, but the Italians are playing a very mean part for self-gain. The Punjabis are very good. They get very angry, but they are calm and have control. Neither of the extremes is good — those who do not get excited and those who very quickly lose their temper. But they are great who, though excited, control their temper. I like the Punjabis best for that. To become excited and to express it is the easiest thing on Earth. But to control anger is a great thing.
If Nadia's cat eats the bird, Nadia will not get annoyed with the cat. But if Elizabeth sees the cat eating the bird, she will punish the cat and Nadia will be upset with Elizabeth.