No physical suffering, no suffering of the present war, could compare with it. If they had understanding they never would have refused. How complicated is life!
You criticize; you take lightly what should be taken seriously. You long at times to please Me, but you don't know how to and you refuse to be taught. You will sacrifice home, child, money, and freedom to understand and learn the art of the theatre, the genius of the poet or painter in pursuit of happiness. You spare no pains to try to understand what interests you, but when I, your Beloved, say "Learn of Me" and "Perfect Understanding, the fruit of Pure Love", you are not prepared to sacrifice anything for its possession. What sort of love is this, I ask? But love cannot force. To serve, please and love me is a very different thing from what, let us say, Hitler asks of his followers. They obey; if not they are shot or imprisoned. My followers obey me voluntarily, a far more difficult ideal.
Learn, eventually, you will. But in a school where suffering may not be combined with the presence of Eternal Bliss and happiness as it would if you had come to me as I asked. There is so much in you which I need for my work. Such capacity to understand, had you the desire to learn and the grit, determination and courage to strive for the goal. Who better than you were able to realize my changing moods, my present need, my unspoken wish, but you grew tired and wanted change! Like a child, you wanted the fairy palace, the fine jewel, without the climb and toil for its attainment.
Now, darling Shalimar, don't be miserable because this time I have "ticked you off." Write again soon, and tell me all your plans, and what you would like to do. You have chosen the longer of two paths toward the happiness you sincerely desire, but it is a path and I will lead you along it to the end. So you have nothing to fear, nothing to worry about. Mine you always were and mine you will always remain, whether there or here.
Earlier that year, Savak Kotwal's wife Nergiz wrote to Baba that Savak had quit his job in Bombay and was preparing to go off to the Himalayas. In February, Baba called Savak to Bangalore.