The relief I felt by banging my forehead on the stones can be compared to that which a strong cup of tea gives an ordinary man.
In actuality, the pain of regaining normal human consciousness was so great that only this physical suffering of striking his head methodically could ease it to some extent.
Soon after Merwan returned to Poona from Lahore, his father fell ill and had to be hospitalized in Bombay for surgery. Merwan felt obliged to look after Café Sheriar in his absence. He would be there the entire day from early morning, handling the cash register and generally overseeing the business.
During those days, Merwan's mind was more engaged in writing poetry and ghazals than in concentrating on the restaurant business. Yet he was neither careless nor easily deceived handling its affairs; he simply had no interest in making money.
One day, while in the café, he composed the following ghazal in Persian, which was later translated:
the face of the Beloved Now that I have seen the face of the Beloved,
It has taken control of my heart.
Longing has cut my heart into pieces,
Leaving nothing but the stain of separation.
Take the Beloved's love as his mercy
Or His curly locks as a snare;
His remembrance is like the nightingale's,
Longing for the flower's nectar.
Though His remembrance has escaped my mind,
His face is etched forever on my heart.
When the self is annihilated, duality disappears —
And the lover himself becomes God!
The lover and the Beloved's heart
Are [ever] in the same place.
The Beloved is always in the heart,
And the heart is always in the Beloved.
O apparent renunciant! You make a spectacle of praying,
But you ask God to fulfill your desires.
Remember, for a real lover there is nothing to ask,
Because God does not remain hidden in his heart.1
The ways of the Masters are peculiar;
They make one laugh and weep simultaneously.
Outwardly they appear indifferent, but inwardly they have love.
There is abuse on their lips, but blessings in their heart.
Some say the Beloved's abode is in the Tavern,
Some say it is in the mosque.
O Huma! What are you searching for outside?
Know well that God dwells within your heart!
By the time Sheriarji returned from Bombay, Merwan had written several more ghazals along similar themes which he would share with Bobo.
Footnotes
- 1.The real lover finds God manifesting in the world.