I don't know what happened — I shall never know what happened. All I know is that I found myself on my knees at Baba's feet, crying as I think I have never cried before.
The tears were streaming down my face. I don't think I was unhappy; I don't think I was happy. Perhaps the tears seemed to wash away all that had happened to me in the past, all that I had regretted. I was empty in a sense, yet filled with lightness and a new dawn — fresh life. I felt clean and light.
I don't know how long this weeping lasted; I couldn't tell you. It was timeless. Baba dictated on the board, which I heard Chanji interpret, "She is to stay near me." Somebody picked me up. I was put to bed and fell into a deep slumber. I can't explain what happened. It was a long, long time ago, but it is an impression which has remained very deep.
I always loved Jesus Christ and it seemed to me that Baba was like the Jesus I had known as a child in the paintings depicting him. I felt this tremendous love, this tremendous compassion. Although there was a great deal to criticize in me and even be stern about (I most certainly had not always been as good or nice a person as I should have been), in his eyes there was nothing but understanding and compassion and no condemnation at all. I think it was that that won me over to him. However sensual one had been, however undutiful, ungrateful or careless — whatever one's faults were that he saw — it seemed as if he saw what one might become and drew this out. That is really all I can say.
The next morning Kim awakened in a normal state of mind, but thereafter constantly sought to be near Baba.
On Tuesday, 15 September 1931, Baba asked Charles Purdom how he was feeling. Purdom replied, "I feel that everything from my head has entered my heart and there is a burning sensation in my chest."
"Good," Baba gestured.
And he explained to him about the three types of faith: intellectual faith, faith by sight and faith by experience.
After interviews, Baba went for a walk with the group to the valley where Meredith and Margaret sang songs about him. Baba was in a splendid mood and mentioned for the first time about his mission for the world, and revealed that he was the Avatar.