ChaptersChapter 8Page 1,026

Chapter 8: Winding Down Activities

1929Page 1,026 of 5,444
The day after his arrival in Quetta in 1929, Baba visited Nervous' grave, and it seemed as if he had purposely come to Quetta to pay his respects to his dear disciple. Baba placed flowers on Nervous' tombstone and sat quietly for a while.
Then, surveying the entire cemetery, Baba remarked, "Those who are buried here are fortunate. Because of Nervous, they are having the opportunity of seeing me today."
Baba proceeded on a sightseeing tour of Quetta and the surrounding area and returned in the evening. Baba's health was noticeably better in the cool climate, but he was still suffering chest pains.
On Tuesday, 21 May, on Baba's order, Rusi rented a separate house for the group, where Baba began fasting on liquids. But the house was found unsuitable for Baba's seclusion, so a search began for another place.
Like other mandali on past journeys, Chhagan became a scapegoat for Baba's goading. Due to Baba's frequent taunts since the journey started, Chhagan was becoming increasingly depressed.
At 3:00 P.M. on 22 May, Baba criticized all: "No one gives me companionship. The mandali have no thought for me. I am suffering with pain in my heart, and I have to suffer additionally because of the mandali not being in a good mood. No one has any thought for me; they only think of themselves. I can't tolerate this suffering anymore. It is killing me! You are all trying to kill me!"
Baba then lambasted Chhagan and Buasaheb for four hours, without letting up, until seven that night. The situation was so distressful that the group dreaded what would happen next.
Baba concluded the scolding, "I fail to understand what Chhagan wants me to do. He himself suffers and he makes others suffer. What harassment I put up with! My health is very bad — you all know this — and on top of it I have to pander to your moods. Now, if you want to stay, stay. Otherwise, pack up and get out. I won't tolerate this sort of behavior."
After a few minutes, Baba remarked to the other men, "I trouble Chhagan a lot. The whole night he keeps watch by my side, and when he is about to rest during the daytime, I don't allow him to sleep. What can he do? But what can I do? I don't like his sleeping and want him to be near me, but how can he maintain a good mood without sleep? Therefore, neither of us is to blame."
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